With all the pandemic shutdowns going on, I often find myself torn. Do I want to go out and support those businesses that are trying to find a way through this? Do I stay home, knowing that I’ll just be annoyed by all the restrictions? Do I somehow find the middle? I found I dabbled mostly in the middle. But what is one to do when their only option, not only brings them outside of their home, but into enemy territory.
My wife’s niece was due to be married, just outside of Dubuque, Iowa. I don’t care much for my neighboring state to the east... unless of course I’m hunting pheasants... but my travel experiences there would make Clark Griswold blush. If you don’t know who Clark Griswold is, shame on you.
Now, before you big-time city folk scoff at the thought of someone expecting nice travel accommodations in a small town, Dubuque actually does not fit that mold. It’s a town of nearly 60,000. So to expect some decent lodging shouldn’t be a stretch.
But before we get into the hotel horror show, let’s back up a bit to the snowflake from hell that started this snowball of misery. While prepping the truck for the trip the day before we were set to depart, I thought I’d check the brake pads. It wasn’t that long ago that I had put on some new ones, but you just never know how they will wear. Sure enough, one pad was extremely low, while the others were still hovering at 60-70%. I took a deep breath, hopped in the vehicle and headed over to my local auto parts store.
Upon my return, I began lifting my truck using a hydraulic floor jack. I noticed it wasn’t functioning correctly, and realized I better check the fluid and soon found myself heading back to the very same auto parts store. I returned home and got started. Now, when I change my brake pads, I will change all four sets no matter the discrepancy. But this one was so drastic, I had a hard time towing this philosophy. So I decided, just to buy the one set and figured I’d just check the others more thoroughly.
That’s when it got really fun. I noticed that on both rear sets, the inboard pads were worn just as much as the original one I was planning on changing. This time, my first move was to my workshop fridge where I had a nice, frosty cold bronson waiting for me. Took it down pretty fast and then headed back to the very same store. I decided it was time to stop messing around and bought sets for the remaining three tires.
The next day, we were on the road and right on schedule. I had asked my wife to remind me to check the lug nuts when we stopped for lunch, gas or whatever. She did not. Had she done so, the next stumble. Now, of course, a lug nut completely falling off is not all her fault. But had she reminded me to check, we wouldn’t have had to visit the auto parts store... again! And if you’ve ever tightened lug nuts in formal attire in the middle of a hot and humid summer, you’ll understand my mood was beginning to wane.
After the ceremony, we were finally going to be able to check in to our hotel, which isn’t something I would normally look forward to, but I really needed a shower and a quick nap before the reception. Tired, sweaty and slightly frustrated, I went in to check us in. Our name wasn’t on the list. Or so the front desk worker repeatedly said. I had called just a few days prior to see if we could switch two a King bed, and it sure as hogs are made of bacon, it was then. After realizing she was entering my name with an “ey” at the end, she finally located our reservation. She gave me the “enjoy your stay” rundown with the added Covid caveat and I was on my way.
My wife and I grabbed all our bags, went through the peculiarly smelling hotel to our even worse smelling room. What was that odor? We kind of figured that maybe that’s just the way this place smells and went about doing a quick sanitize of the room, which is something we always did even before the pandemic. I was in the bathroom and noticed the smell was even stronger, in addition to all the hair everywhere. That’s when I decided it was time to check in the commode. There indeed was the source of the odor, an unflushed toilet.
I don’t tell you this to gross you out, though it is gross. I share this so that you never assume the cleanliness of the place you’re about to sleep in. And had it not been for discovering a cracked lug nut the next morning, and the food poisoning that added another two hours onto our drive home, this would have been a lovely trip.
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